Christmas time was a joyous time for us, even though we didn’t celebrate in a big way. There was something about the season, seeing the neighbors houses all decked in lights, that brought pure joy to our little hearts. It seemed so cozy.
I can still picture my sister, myself, and my little brother with our elbows perched on the window sill at dusk waiting for the lights to come on. We oohed and ahhed over all the different lights, and we were excited to see how they’d change things each year.
The weeks up to Christmas seemed exciting, and a bit secretive. Mom would buy huge bars of melting chocolate to make all kinds of sweet chocolate covered goodies to enjoy. At that time chocolate was not my favorite thing *gasp* and I ate way too many rice crispy treats, and cracker jacks instead.
On Christmas Eve after we were all in bed, Mom and Dad (or sometimes our older siblings) would set the table, and fill our plates with store bought candy, an organge, nuts, and sometimes a little toy or something extra. Christmas morning we’d wake up just as excited as if we had received an extravagant amount of gifts. ☺️ I don’t remember ever feeling let down or sad about only receiving candy, and things to eat.
I remember one Christmas when I was 6 or 7 I got a plastic clip key chain. After I left the Amish I carried my car keys on it for many years, and every time I’d see it I remembered the excitement around our Christmas breakfast table. Once I received a set of salt and pepper shakers that my family now uses daily. My kids enjoy hearing the story of how excited I was to receive them. 😃
Christmas Day was spent visiting other families or just being together, and eating way too much! 😃 December 26th was called 2nd day of Christmas, and we got to do whatever we wanted to. When we were old enough to do paying jobs we’d often try to find work, because we’d get to keep the money we earned. (On ordinary days all the money we earned went to mom and dad until we were 21)
New Year’s Day was another day that we got to keep the money we earned.
January 6th was considered old Christmas. However, we didn’t do gifts that day. The grown ups would fast until lunch time, and afternoon we’d often go visit friends.
Our school teachers always did a great job of making Christmas exciting, and made sure everyone got a little gift. 🎁
My husband Isaac, and I, have kept the tradition of keeping Christmas low key. On Christmas Eve we have a candle lit dinner using our fanciest China, I will cook our favorite foods, and Isaac makes a delightful rum cake. We get each of our children a little gift too. Our Christmas Eve dinners have become our favorite tradition so far. The kids talk about it all year. Christmas is my very favorite holiday to decorate for, and I’m always aching to put that tree up as soon as thanksgiving is over. Yes, I wait until after. ☺️
Friday, November 10, 2017
Wednesday, September 20, 2017
My Maem
My Maem (Maem=Mom) was a tender hearted person. She smiled, and made people feel welcome, and at ease. She especially loved children, and kept a house full at all times. ☺️ She was the one that offered to babysit whenever the need arose. Some kids in the community called her Mommy. (Mommy=grandma) I remember how she rocked her grand babies, and sang to them in German. I'm #13 of her #14 kids so I got to witness the grandma version of her more than my older siblings did. She was 41 when I was born.
She would tell us the story of how her maem died when she was only 10, (Mom was #9 of 18 kids.)
She'd often shed a few tears while telling us the story. Other times she would giggle until she cried while telling us funny stories of her childhood. Funny or sad, I never got tired of hearing the same stories over and over.
She was never shy, and embarrassed us so very much, especially whenever we were around English people. (English=non Amish) Sometimes she'd peddle her produce and baked goods through subdivided neighborhoods in her buggy while yelling out "Green beans for sale!" Or "y'all want any bread!" That last phrase got taken advantage of sometimes when people would say "sure!" take a loaf, and leave, without paying. 😜 As a teen I was sure I was gonna die of embarrassment before our peddling endeavors would end. Mostly she would have a roadside stand, and only delivered/peddled when she had leftovers. She also made a lot of quilts to sell. Looking back I see what a survivor she was, and I see now why English people felt welcome at our house. She invited them in, let them eat with us, and had several best friends that were English.
I also remember the many buggy rides to mommy Gingerich's house with Maem. Mommy was her stepmom, and it was probably the most boring place to go as a child. Mommy was nearly deaf , had no teeth, and didn't want us to make any noise, so we'd sit as still as mice until we were dismissed to go play with our cousins that lived in the big house next to the Doddy house. (A Doddy (=grandpa) house was usually built by one of the married children's homes so they could take care of the elderly parents) Maem loved her and always said we'd regret it if we wouldn't go see her because we wouldn't always have her.
Mommy had dentures, but never bothered to wear them, she said they were a nuisance, and last I heard she had thrown them out in the field. 😂 That's what Aunt Ida said.
It's amazing to me now to realize that I was never told "I love you" or was hugged or shown affection by my parents, yet I felt loved and cared for . My parents weren't perfect, and made many mistakes, but they did their best and followed what they had been taught for generations.
When I think of mama, I think of hard work, love, and a cheerful attitude.
Maem left us in February of 2011 after a year long suffering from complications of diabetes. She was 70 years old, had been married to dad for 50 years. She had 14 children and 120 grandchildren. I miss her always.
She never wasted anything!
At her funeral I ate molasses cookies that she had baked while a wheelchair was her only way of getting around. She never let anything stop her. She sang her favorite German songs while on her deathbed a few hours before her passing. ❤️❤️
She would tell us the story of how her maem died when she was only 10, (Mom was #9 of 18 kids.)
She'd often shed a few tears while telling us the story. Other times she would giggle until she cried while telling us funny stories of her childhood. Funny or sad, I never got tired of hearing the same stories over and over.
She was never shy, and embarrassed us so very much, especially whenever we were around English people. (English=non Amish) Sometimes she'd peddle her produce and baked goods through subdivided neighborhoods in her buggy while yelling out "Green beans for sale!" Or "y'all want any bread!" That last phrase got taken advantage of sometimes when people would say "sure!" take a loaf, and leave, without paying. 😜 As a teen I was sure I was gonna die of embarrassment before our peddling endeavors would end. Mostly she would have a roadside stand, and only delivered/peddled when she had leftovers. She also made a lot of quilts to sell. Looking back I see what a survivor she was, and I see now why English people felt welcome at our house. She invited them in, let them eat with us, and had several best friends that were English.
I also remember the many buggy rides to mommy Gingerich's house with Maem. Mommy was her stepmom, and it was probably the most boring place to go as a child. Mommy was nearly deaf , had no teeth, and didn't want us to make any noise, so we'd sit as still as mice until we were dismissed to go play with our cousins that lived in the big house next to the Doddy house. (A Doddy (=grandpa) house was usually built by one of the married children's homes so they could take care of the elderly parents) Maem loved her and always said we'd regret it if we wouldn't go see her because we wouldn't always have her.
Mommy had dentures, but never bothered to wear them, she said they were a nuisance, and last I heard she had thrown them out in the field. 😂 That's what Aunt Ida said.
It's amazing to me now to realize that I was never told "I love you" or was hugged or shown affection by my parents, yet I felt loved and cared for . My parents weren't perfect, and made many mistakes, but they did their best and followed what they had been taught for generations.
When I think of mama, I think of hard work, love, and a cheerful attitude.
Maem left us in February of 2011 after a year long suffering from complications of diabetes. She was 70 years old, had been married to dad for 50 years. She had 14 children and 120 grandchildren. I miss her always.
She never wasted anything!
At her funeral I ate molasses cookies that she had baked while a wheelchair was her only way of getting around. She never let anything stop her. She sang her favorite German songs while on her deathbed a few hours before her passing. ❤️❤️
Sunday, September 17, 2017
Amish Church
Swartzentruber Amish church lasted a good 4 hours, and yet it was a highlight of my week, it meant I got to see my friends. On Saturdays us little kids got a bath by the wood cook stove in a galvanized metal tub. (Think little house on the prairie 😉) Mama would hang our church clothes out in the living room to make it easier to get all of us ready for church on Sunday. I had 2 or 3 dresses to wear for Sunday, a black one, a blue one, and a brown one. I then wore a white pinaform over it for church. When I got older I had a dark burgundy dress added to my Sunday attire, and my pin-a-form was replaced with a white apron and cape. For church my every day cotton black cap was replaced with a black silk one. We only had church every other Sunday, and the in between Sunday was used for visiting friends. We didn't have a church house, but instead, church services were held in each other's homes. In the summer time it was often held in shops or barns. There was no air conditioning, and having the crowd in big open spaces made it more bearable.
I remember the excitement of having church at our place. We'd spend two weeks cleaning everything from top to bottom.
Neighbors, friends, and grandma came by to help with all the scrubbing that needed to be done. Oil lamps and lanterns were emptied and washed, the wicks were boiled in soapy water, and the burners were sometimes boiled in tomato juice to make them shine. I can still smell the hint of kerosene mixed with the tomato juice. It sort of smelled like excitement. 😀
The basement was scrubbed and all canned food was neatly organized. The beds were stripped, and the mattresses were given a thorough beating to get any dust out. Walls and ceilings were washed. Mom would bake lots of bread and cookies in preparation for the big day. The men were equally busy cleaning up the barn, and any outside areas. If church was held in the house we would remove all the furniture and replace it with long hard benches that were hauled from place to place on a wagon. My siblings and I enjoyed having the benches stacked on our porch afterwards, it was fun climbing on them and using them as a fort. I especially remember climbing into our forts and enjoying a good thunder storm. (At that time our benches didn't fold like they do now.)
After two weeks of prepping, the day finally came, as a child it felt like such an important day. I could hardly contain my excitement. 😃
We did our chores, and ate our usual Sunday morning breakfast of coffee soup, sausage and sometimes peaches, or hard boiled eggs. 😋 Now it was time for the final touches..make sure all the benches are in the right place, we'd fill a bowl with cookies and crackers, and sometimes one with snitz pie for the younger kids to eat in case they got hungry before church services were over.
One church district had anywhere from 15 to 30 families, and with each family having anywhere from 1-19 kids it was quite the crowd. My sisters and I would wait in our wash house (a place where we had our wringer washer and big kettle to heat water) and wait for all our neighbors and friends to arrive. All the women would come into the wash house where they took off their bonnets a shawls and put them on a table. The married women then shook hands with everyone before they, along with their babies and children under 9 went to the main house where services were held. The men all gathered by the barn after unhitching and tying up the horses. Ministers, deacons, and bishops all greeted each other with a handshake and a holy kiss. Everyone else greeted each other with only a handshake. At 9:00 everyone went single file into the house. Starting with the ministers, then married men, and then the boys. After the boys were all seated, the girls entered, and sat down. All in somber and silence. Smiling during church service was frowned upon. Everyone was given a fat little German hymnal, and we all sang together in a long drawn out tune. The ministers made their way to a private room to discuss and pray, (I guess I'm not sure what they actually did. 😏) while everyone else sang more songs, one being the "Lob Leid" (praise song). Once the ministers returned, the preaching started which was also in German, and very hard to understand since we spoke Pennsylvania Dutch, and only learned German once we went to school. As a young child, it seemed like it would never end, and sitting on that hard bench wasn't that easy.
While the preaching and singing went on the host family made a huge amount of bean/bread soup in the big cast iron kettle that we used for heating water, this would feed everyone after sevice. It was made of butter, beans, milk, and bread. When church service was finally over, the men would push the benches together to make tables. The young girls would spread table cloths over them and set bowls of soup, bread, pickles, pickled red beets, butter, and two kinds of jam or jelly. Most times we'd have a jam and Amish peanut butter, or apple butter, and peanut butter. Peanut butter was popular.
One bowl of soup would feed 4-6 people and we'd all dig in with our spoons and eat straight from the bowl. 🍚 😱 The youth usually had a singing later that evening.
I remember the excitement of having church at our place. We'd spend two weeks cleaning everything from top to bottom.
Neighbors, friends, and grandma came by to help with all the scrubbing that needed to be done. Oil lamps and lanterns were emptied and washed, the wicks were boiled in soapy water, and the burners were sometimes boiled in tomato juice to make them shine. I can still smell the hint of kerosene mixed with the tomato juice. It sort of smelled like excitement. 😀
The basement was scrubbed and all canned food was neatly organized. The beds were stripped, and the mattresses were given a thorough beating to get any dust out. Walls and ceilings were washed. Mom would bake lots of bread and cookies in preparation for the big day. The men were equally busy cleaning up the barn, and any outside areas. If church was held in the house we would remove all the furniture and replace it with long hard benches that were hauled from place to place on a wagon. My siblings and I enjoyed having the benches stacked on our porch afterwards, it was fun climbing on them and using them as a fort. I especially remember climbing into our forts and enjoying a good thunder storm. (At that time our benches didn't fold like they do now.)
After two weeks of prepping, the day finally came, as a child it felt like such an important day. I could hardly contain my excitement. 😃
We did our chores, and ate our usual Sunday morning breakfast of coffee soup, sausage and sometimes peaches, or hard boiled eggs. 😋 Now it was time for the final touches..make sure all the benches are in the right place, we'd fill a bowl with cookies and crackers, and sometimes one with snitz pie for the younger kids to eat in case they got hungry before church services were over.
One church district had anywhere from 15 to 30 families, and with each family having anywhere from 1-19 kids it was quite the crowd. My sisters and I would wait in our wash house (a place where we had our wringer washer and big kettle to heat water) and wait for all our neighbors and friends to arrive. All the women would come into the wash house where they took off their bonnets a shawls and put them on a table. The married women then shook hands with everyone before they, along with their babies and children under 9 went to the main house where services were held. The men all gathered by the barn after unhitching and tying up the horses. Ministers, deacons, and bishops all greeted each other with a handshake and a holy kiss. Everyone else greeted each other with only a handshake. At 9:00 everyone went single file into the house. Starting with the ministers, then married men, and then the boys. After the boys were all seated, the girls entered, and sat down. All in somber and silence. Smiling during church service was frowned upon. Everyone was given a fat little German hymnal, and we all sang together in a long drawn out tune. The ministers made their way to a private room to discuss and pray, (I guess I'm not sure what they actually did. 😏) while everyone else sang more songs, one being the "Lob Leid" (praise song). Once the ministers returned, the preaching started which was also in German, and very hard to understand since we spoke Pennsylvania Dutch, and only learned German once we went to school. As a young child, it seemed like it would never end, and sitting on that hard bench wasn't that easy.
While the preaching and singing went on the host family made a huge amount of bean/bread soup in the big cast iron kettle that we used for heating water, this would feed everyone after sevice. It was made of butter, beans, milk, and bread. When church service was finally over, the men would push the benches together to make tables. The young girls would spread table cloths over them and set bowls of soup, bread, pickles, pickled red beets, butter, and two kinds of jam or jelly. Most times we'd have a jam and Amish peanut butter, or apple butter, and peanut butter. Peanut butter was popular.
One bowl of soup would feed 4-6 people and we'd all dig in with our spoons and eat straight from the bowl. 🍚 😱 The youth usually had a singing later that evening.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
My Sister
I saw her sitting in the corner booth at a McDonald's which was inside the Walmart. I couldn't see the profile of her face that was hidden behind the big black bonnet she was wearing, the little boy and girl with her looked very familiar, almost as if I were back in time.
I scanned across the restaurant to see if anyone was with her. At the register I saw a tall Amish man in a broad brimmed straw hat. I hadn't seen him, or his wife in almost 11 years, his hair had turned white, but he was definitely my sisters husband. My sister that was 12 years older than I, whom I looked up to, and pretty much thought she had hung the moon. She had gotten married when I was 10, and 9 months later gave birth to a sweet little girl that they named Saloma.
What 10 year old aunt doesn't dream of having a niece named after her? 😉 Ok, that's probably only in large families.
I stood there observing them from the crowd of Walmart shoppers in plain sight. My heart ached and I blinked back the tears. I missed them. I missed my family, but my eyes were opened to something I hadn't noticed so much while I was Amish. Their faces showed no joy, not even a smidge. She looked pale and tired. Her dress of blue seemed dark and drab, her husband looked equally unhappy.
I had a deep sadness for them, as I wondered if they have ever experienced joy. Joy unspeakable. Joy deep within, like I had.
I wanted to talk to her, to hug her, and tell her I miss her. Instead I left, and shared with my kids all the things I loved about my sister Lovina.
2 years later I met her at one of my brother in laws funeral. 7 of us sisters got to sit a talk for a spell. Lovina told me of how I was the most precious smilingest blue eyed baby she ever saw, (you can see why I love her😉) and then she added how she wished things were still like they used to be, and if we would please come back before it's too late.
She genuinely believes being Amish saves her, and wants that for me.
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
Getting Started
It was with hesitant hands that we knocked gently on neighbor Jim's door. We didn't know if he would help us or not, and it was sure going to surprise him.
Somehow we had no concern about the what if's, we just knew that we wanted to end the legalistic life we were living. Jim answered the door while he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he definitely looked surprised, but didn't hesitate to help us. We waited until daylight, then he took us to where Isaac was working. By this time the Amish community was bustling with buggies and the news of our leaving. (we had left a note) This meant we had to duck down whenever we passed a buggy. We passed one where I sat back up too quickly and they could only see this Amish girl in a head covering sitting next to Jim in his truck. Rumors were quickly spread about me running off with an old man, and sweet Jim got a black mark from my parents.
The next two weeks people helped us in any way they could. We went shopping for clothes. I had no idea what size I wore, but I picked out a pair of skinny jeans and a T shirt, I put them on and nearly fell over when I saw the transformation in the mirror. However, it wasn't long until I had retired the jeans and T shirt, and went to short shorts and belly shirts.😜 I also found a job sitting with an old lady that was bound to her wheelchair, my days passed slowly, and I started feeling more confused than ever.
Isaac quickly got his drivers license and bought a car, it was fire engine red , and we thought the world was ours. We quickly learned that getting an apartment wasn't as easy as it looked. No one wanted to rent to a couple runaways that had no references. One day as we were driving around I remembered my moms friend Peggy Sue, I had been to her house once and thought I could find where she lives. We found her, and she welcomed us in for a visit, as we talked about our search for and apartment, she said "why don't you kids just stay here with me?" Well, that was the best thing anyone had said to us in the last 3 weeks! She had a couple extra bedrooms and she felt lonely there by herself. (Today we call her Mammaw Sue, and she has adopted our kids as her own grandchildren)
Somewhere in this time I started missing my family so bad that I physically hurt. Isaac was always there, telling me it was ok if I wanted to go home, he'd take me. We did go home to visit, about 2 weeks after we left, I remember wearing a floral knee length dress as I walked to the porch where my mom was sitting with several of my married sisters, as I walked up to her I could hear the sobbing, I felt bad for her and reach out to give her a hug, but when I did so, she shielded herself with her hands and let out a loud miserable cry, she sort of pushed me away and told me to get dressed in some decent clothes, and put a covering on my head. I went and got dressed, and we visited for a while. That moment when my mom let out the loud miserable cry, was the moment I felt rejected and vowed never to go back. That vow, however did not keep me from wanting my old life back.
Preachers came early one morning at the crack of dawn in their buggy to ask us if we would give them permission to excommunicate us. We didn't, so that meant they had to vote with the church and go from there. A couple Sunday's later we were out driving in Amish country when we passed the place where they had held church services that day, and one of the preachers came running and waving his arms to stop us, he wanted to tell us that it was voted to put us in the ban. Guess that fire engine red car was already marked and he knew it was us. Amish people keep track of a lot of things. 😉
Somehow we had no concern about the what if's, we just knew that we wanted to end the legalistic life we were living. Jim answered the door while he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he definitely looked surprised, but didn't hesitate to help us. We waited until daylight, then he took us to where Isaac was working. By this time the Amish community was bustling with buggies and the news of our leaving. (we had left a note) This meant we had to duck down whenever we passed a buggy. We passed one where I sat back up too quickly and they could only see this Amish girl in a head covering sitting next to Jim in his truck. Rumors were quickly spread about me running off with an old man, and sweet Jim got a black mark from my parents.
The next two weeks people helped us in any way they could. We went shopping for clothes. I had no idea what size I wore, but I picked out a pair of skinny jeans and a T shirt, I put them on and nearly fell over when I saw the transformation in the mirror. However, it wasn't long until I had retired the jeans and T shirt, and went to short shorts and belly shirts.😜 I also found a job sitting with an old lady that was bound to her wheelchair, my days passed slowly, and I started feeling more confused than ever.
Isaac quickly got his drivers license and bought a car, it was fire engine red , and we thought the world was ours. We quickly learned that getting an apartment wasn't as easy as it looked. No one wanted to rent to a couple runaways that had no references. One day as we were driving around I remembered my moms friend Peggy Sue, I had been to her house once and thought I could find where she lives. We found her, and she welcomed us in for a visit, as we talked about our search for and apartment, she said "why don't you kids just stay here with me?" Well, that was the best thing anyone had said to us in the last 3 weeks! She had a couple extra bedrooms and she felt lonely there by herself. (Today we call her Mammaw Sue, and she has adopted our kids as her own grandchildren)
Somewhere in this time I started missing my family so bad that I physically hurt. Isaac was always there, telling me it was ok if I wanted to go home, he'd take me. We did go home to visit, about 2 weeks after we left, I remember wearing a floral knee length dress as I walked to the porch where my mom was sitting with several of my married sisters, as I walked up to her I could hear the sobbing, I felt bad for her and reach out to give her a hug, but when I did so, she shielded herself with her hands and let out a loud miserable cry, she sort of pushed me away and told me to get dressed in some decent clothes, and put a covering on my head. I went and got dressed, and we visited for a while. That moment when my mom let out the loud miserable cry, was the moment I felt rejected and vowed never to go back. That vow, however did not keep me from wanting my old life back.
Preachers came early one morning at the crack of dawn in their buggy to ask us if we would give them permission to excommunicate us. We didn't, so that meant they had to vote with the church and go from there. A couple Sunday's later we were out driving in Amish country when we passed the place where they had held church services that day, and one of the preachers came running and waving his arms to stop us, he wanted to tell us that it was voted to put us in the ban. Guess that fire engine red car was already marked and he knew it was us. Amish people keep track of a lot of things. 😉
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
Quick Decisions and Rebel Hearts
The decision to leave the Amish was made rather quickly in the middle of the night. My parents had returned from a 3 week trip to Ohio and Canada to visit some of my married siblings, they came home to a mad son-in-law and a whole lot of visits from preachers complaining about various things, some true and some not true, we admitted the things that were true, and it was pretty much a sure thing that we had to go through a period of excommunication from the church for our "sins" which were, seeing each other too much during the day, openly talking to each other in large gatherings, like Sunday evening singings, etc...
Isaac was renting a room from my sister and brother in law, (the one that was mad) it was his home since he moved from Ohio to Kentucky. BIL had made it clear that he no longer had a home for him. I can't remember his reasoning's though.
So, we knew things were about to get ugly, I met Isaac at his place to discuss things (at night), one of the first things I said was "lets run away" Isaac was hesitant because he had left when he was 18, (he was now 21, I was 19) and he understood the agony of leaving your family, so he wasn't so sure I could handle it. I said "just for a year, to give them a taste of their own medicine" (rebel heart) :P
However, he explained to me that there would be no return for him,that he was tired of this nit picking stuff and wasn't having anymore of it. I silently figured that he would return with me in a year. :)
(unbeknownst to me, he was planning on leaving just before he met me, but he was so smitten with me that he was sure it was God telling him to stay Amish)
We made our getaway plan, we walked 3 miles from his house to mine to get a few of my things, we had several hours till daylight and needed to pass some time. In that 3 mile walk, though I had no knowledge of Gods care and grace for us, I felt a peace that now I can only explain as a God moment, He lifted the heavy weights off of my shoulders, made my weary steps light, and gave me peace that conquered all my worries of the hurt I was putting on my parents.
We came home, Isaac hoisted a tall ladder to my second story bedroom window and we climbed in, I gathered a Wal-Mart bag full of essentials, made a note for my parents, and we laid on my bed and slept for 3 hours! We awoke just a few hours before daylight would disrupt our plans, Isaac helped me out the window, still light footed and peaceful, we made the 3 mile trek to the English neighbors house, where we would wake him from a restful sleep to surprise him with our plan....
Monday, June 6, 2016
Amish Life
People ask me all the time "how was it to grow up Amish?" I say for the most part it was great, the part not so great was the legalism.
I was number 13 of 14 children, that was great because I always had someone to play with, (or fight) :P My sister Dena was almost 2 years older than I, and truly was my best friend, we often dressed alike, and people thought we were twins. Later we married brothers. That will be a whole 'nother post. ;) I have a brother that is nearly 3 years younger than me who was and is still a wonderful friend.
Most of my older siblings I don't really remember a lot of since some of them were married before I turned 2, and had moved out of the house. I mostly remember them making comments of how spoiled we younger ones are. I wouldn't know anything about that. ;)
My life was good and uncomplicated until I turned 17 and started dating. Age 16 or 17 is when most Amish kids get to join the youth in their Sunday evening singings. It also means you are old enough to have dates, and figure out who you are gonna marry. We were from the Swartzentruber Amish which means we practiced bundling. You should probably just Google bundling, and Swartzentruber to save me the embarrassment of explaining. When I was 17 I started dating Isaac, (he's now my husband, and father of our 5 children) he was from Ohio so it was long distance and we wrote letters to each other, he would travel by grey hound to see me every 6 weeks or so, after a year of that, he moved to Kentucky to be closer to me. This is when I started questioning the Amish ways, It bothered me a whole lot that my parents really had no way of getting to know Isaac, since dates happened in secret at night while the parents slept. or were supposed to be sleeping, but what parent really sleeps when their teen daughter is cuddling in bed with a stranger? (oh, you didn't Google bundling yet?) Most of our dates were in the kitchen which was southern style, and supposed to be better than what they do up north. :P still at night with no one around.
Having the boyfriend over for supper or involved in any kind of family things was a big no no. My Dad often talked about how he wished the rules were different, but for him there seemed no way out. He was a preacher, and was already looked down upon just for the things he let his children do. He did let Isaac eat supper with us on several occasions, which didn't turn out so well because the neighbor came over and saw Isaac at our house, and Dad had to make a confession in church. I began to think of my future children and how I would feel seeing my sons and daughters getting married to someone they only conversed with at night, but I still never thought I would leave the Amish, afterall I didn't want to purposefully go to hell when I die.
To be continued......
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