Getting Started

It was with hesitant hands that we knocked gently on neighbor Jim's door. We didn't know if he would help us or not, and it was sure going to surprise him.
Somehow we had no concern about the what if's, we just knew that we wanted to end the legalistic life we were living. Jim answered the door while he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he definitely looked surprised, but didn't hesitate to help us. We waited until daylight, then he took us to where Isaac was working. By this time the Amish community was bustling with buggies and the news of our leaving. (we had left a note) This meant we had to duck down whenever we passed a buggy. We passed one where I sat back up too quickly and they could only see this Amish girl in a head covering sitting next to Jim in his truck. Rumors were quickly spread about me running off with an old man, and sweet Jim got a black mark from my parents.
The next two weeks people helped us in any way they could.  We went shopping for clothes. I had no idea what size I wore, but I picked out a pair of skinny jeans and a T shirt, I put them on and nearly fell over when I saw the transformation in the mirror. However, it wasn't long until I had retired the jeans and T shirt, and went to short shorts and belly shirts.😜 I also found a job sitting with an old lady that was bound to her wheelchair, my days passed slowly, and I started feeling more confused than ever.
Isaac quickly got his drivers license and bought a car, it was fire engine red , and we thought the world was ours. We quickly learned that getting an apartment wasn't as easy as it looked. No one wanted to rent to a couple runaways that had no references. One day as we were driving around I remembered my moms friend Peggy Sue, I had been to her house once and thought I could find where she lives. We found her, and she welcomed us in for a visit, as we talked about our search for and apartment, she said "why don't you kids just stay here with me?" Well, that was the best thing anyone had said to us in the last 3 weeks! She had a couple extra bedrooms and she felt lonely there by herself. (Today we call her Mammaw Sue, and she has adopted our kids as her own grandchildren)
Somewhere in this time I started missing my family so bad that I physically hurt. Isaac was always there, telling me it was ok if I wanted to go home, he'd take me.  We did go home to visit, about 2 weeks after we left, I remember wearing a floral knee length dress as I walked to the porch where my mom was sitting with several of my married sisters, as I walked up to her I could hear the sobbing, I felt bad for her and reach out to give her a hug, but when I did so, she shielded herself with her hands and let out a loud miserable cry, she sort of pushed me away and told me to get dressed in some decent clothes, and put a covering on my head. I went and got dressed, and we visited for a while. That moment when my mom let out the loud miserable cry, was the moment I felt rejected and vowed never to go back. That vow, however did not keep me from wanting my old life back.
Preachers came early one morning at the crack of dawn in their buggy to ask us if we would give them permission to excommunicate us. We didn't, so that meant they had to vote with the church and go from there. A couple Sunday's later we were out driving in Amish country when we passed the place where they had held church services that day, and one of the preachers came running and waving his arms to stop us, he wanted to tell us that it was voted to put us in the ban. Guess that fire engine red car was already marked and he knew it was us. Amish people keep track of a lot of things. 😉

Quick Decisions and Rebel Hearts

 

The decision to leave the Amish was made rather quickly in the middle of the night. My parents had returned from a 3 week trip to Ohio and Canada to visit some of my married siblings, they came home to a mad son-in-law and a whole lot of visits from preachers complaining about various things, some true and some not true, we admitted the things that were true, and it was pretty much a sure thing that we had to go through a period of excommunication from the church for our "sins" which were, seeing each other too much during the day, openly talking to each other in large gatherings, like Sunday evening singings, etc...  

Isaac was renting a room from my sister and brother in law, (the one that was mad) it was his home since he moved from Ohio to Kentucky. BIL had made it clear that he no longer had a home for him. I can't remember his reasoning's though. 

So, we knew things were about to get ugly, I met Isaac at his place to discuss things (at night), one of the first things I said was "lets run away" Isaac was hesitant because he had left when he was 18, (he was now 21, I was 19) and he understood the agony of leaving your family, so he wasn't so sure I could handle it. I said "just for a year, to give them a taste of their own medicine" (rebel heart) :P

However, he explained to me that there would be no return for him,that he was tired of this nit picking stuff and wasn't having anymore of it. I silently figured that he would return with me in a year. :)  

 (unbeknownst to me, he was planning on leaving just before he met me, but he was so smitten with me that he was sure it was God telling him to stay Amish) 

We made our getaway plan, we walked 3 miles from his house to mine to get a few of my things, we had several hours till daylight and needed to pass some time. In that 3 mile walk, though I had no knowledge of Gods care and grace for us, I felt a peace that now I can only explain as a God moment, He lifted the heavy weights off of my shoulders, made my weary steps light, and gave me peace that conquered all my worries of the hurt I was putting on my parents. 

We came home, Isaac hoisted a tall ladder to my second story bedroom window and we climbed in, I gathered a Wal-Mart bag full of essentials, made a note for my parents, and we laid on my bed and slept for 3 hours! We awoke just a few hours  before daylight would disrupt our plans, Isaac helped me out the window, still light footed and peaceful, we made the 3 mile trek to the English neighbors house, where we would wake him from a restful sleep to surprise him with our plan....

Amish Life

 

People ask me all the time "how was it to grow up Amish?" I say for the most part it was great, the part not so great was the legalism.

 I was number 13 of 14 children, that was great because I always had someone to play with, (or fight) :P My sister Dena was almost 2 years older than I, and truly was my best friend, we often dressed alike, and people thought we were twins. Later we married brothers. That will be a whole 'nother post. ;) I have a brother that is nearly 3 years younger than me who was and is still a wonderful friend.

 Most of my older siblings I don't really remember a lot of since some of them were married before I turned 2, and had moved out of the house. I mostly remember them making comments of how spoiled we younger ones are. I wouldn't know anything about that. ;)

My life was good and uncomplicated until I turned 17 and started dating. Age 16 or 17 is when most Amish kids get to join the youth in their Sunday evening singings. It also means you are old enough to have dates, and figure out who you are gonna marry. We were from the Swartzentruber Amish which means we practiced bundling. You should probably just Google bundling, and Swartzentruber to save me the embarrassment of explaining. When I was 17 I started dating Isaac, (he's now my husband, and father of our 5 children) he was from Ohio so it was long distance and we wrote letters to each other, he would travel by grey hound to see me every 6 weeks or so, after a year of that, he moved to Kentucky to be closer to me. This is when I started questioning the Amish ways, It bothered me a whole lot that my parents really had no way of getting to know Isaac, since dates happened in secret at night while the parents slept. or were supposed to be sleeping, but what parent really sleeps when their teen daughter is cuddling in bed with a stranger? (oh, you didn't Google bundling yet?) Most of our dates were in the kitchen which was southern style, and supposed to be better than what they do up north. :P still at night with no one around.

 Having the boyfriend over for supper or involved in any kind of family things was a big no no. My Dad often talked about how he wished the rules were different, but for him there seemed no way out. He was a preacher, and was already looked down upon just for the things he let his children do. He did let Isaac eat supper with us on several occasions, which didn't turn out so well because the neighbor came over and saw Isaac at our house, and Dad had to make a confession in church. I began to think of my future children and how I would feel seeing my sons and daughters getting married to someone they only conversed with at night, but I still never thought I would leave the Amish, afterall I didn't want to purposefully go to hell when I die.

To be continued......

I am so excited to be back! It's been close to 8 years since I last blogged. I have sure missed it, and it makes me sad that I lost all the stories that I had written about our daily life.

My husband Isaac and I left the Amish 15 years ago. We have been blessed with 5 beautiful children, ages 13 to 18 months.

I will be sharing our story, and what our life is like now.

I enjoy learning about the best ways to live a healthy life. I also love to paint and craft. My dear hubby never knows what I'll paint next. My latest project was our piano, yes I painted it! and I'm completely happy about it.